Is Homecoming by John Bradshaw Right for Your Healing Journey with Early Relational Trauma?

Sep 29

This is the first time I’m sharing a book review here on the blog — something I’ve been wanting to try for a while. I love reading non-fiction books that deepen my understanding of mental health, healing, and growth, and I often recommend them to clients as a way to keep the work going between sessions. Since I know we can’t cover everything in the counselling room, books can serve as companions on the journey.

Every so often, I’d like to highlight a book that I’ve found meaningful or useful — not as a replacement for therapy, but as a resource you can explore in your own time if it resonates. My hope is that these reviews spark curiosity, offer insight, and maybe even introduce you to a tool or perspective that feels supportive.

With that, let’s dive into the first book I’ve chosen to share: Homecoming by John Bradshaw.

Why I Picked Up This Book

As a therapist, I’m always on the lookout for resources that can support my clients beyond the 50 minutes we spend together in the counselling room. Reading is one of the ways we can continue the work of therapy outside of our sessions. Books often provide a bridge — helping us put language to feelings, notice patterns, and explore ideas at our own pace.

I first came across Homecoming when listening to a podcast on how early relational patterns shape who we become. Since this is a theme I regularly discuss with clients, I was immediately curious. Only after I started reading did I realize that the book was first published in 1990 — making John Bradshaw somewhat of a pioneer in popularizing the concept of the “inner child.” While many newer books have since expanded on his ideas (such as those by Dr. Nicole LePera), I found it fascinating to go back to one of the foundational works in this area.

What This Book Is About

At its core, Homecoming explores the idea that we all carry a “wounded inner child.” In childhood, our emotional needs — for love, safety, validation, acceptance — were not always fully met. Sometimes those gaps were small; other times they were profound. Either way, the unhealed wounds of childhood can resurface in adulthood as struggles with self-esteem, relationships, anxiety, depression, or repeating painful patterns.

Bradshaw invites readers to reconnect with their inner child, to acknowledge unmet needs, and to begin offering themselves the love, validation, and care they may have missed. His approach blends psychology, spirituality, and practical self-help, creating a compassionate roadmap for healing.

For the time it was written, Homecoming was groundbreaking. Today, many of Bradshaw’s ideas are echoed in modern attachment theory, neuroscience, and trauma-informed therapy.

Key Insights & Takeaways

Here are a few ideas that stood out to me:

We all carry an inner child.
No matter how “adult” we appear, parts of us remain deeply shaped by early experiences.
Unhealed wounds show up in adulthood.
Codependency, anxiety, addiction, depression, and difficulties with intimacy often trace back to unmet childhood needs.
Developmental stages matter.
If needs for safety, nurturing, or autonomy aren’t met at the right stage, we may get “stuck” there emotionally — replaying those struggles in adulthood.
Family systems shape us.
Dysfunctional families often assign rigid roles (e.g., scapegoat, caretaker, hero, lost child) and unspoken rules (“don’t talk,” “don’t feel,” “don’t trust”) that ripple forward until addressed.
Awareness is the first step.
By identifying childhood wounds and family roles, we gain the clarity needed to begin healing.

How You Can Apply It

One of Bradshaw’s strengths is that he doesn’t just talk theory — he offers practical tools. The book includes journaling prompts, guided meditations, and exercises for re-parenting the inner child. These can help readers:

Identify unmet needs from childhood.
Practice self-compassion and self-soothing.
Explore family roles and rewrite unhelpful narratives.
Reconnect with joy, play, and authenticity.

While some of the practices feel dated compared to more modern trauma-informed approaches (for example, Bradshaw doesn’t speak much about nervous system regulation), the essence is still powerful.

👉 If you’re curious about exploring your own inner landscape, a great place to begin is by identifying your core values. Knowing what matters most to you today can help guide healthier boundaries and decisions — something Bradshaw touches on but doesn’t explore in depth. I created a free worksheet to help with this process: Discovering Your Core Values.

My Personal Reflections

For me, Homecoming reaffirmed something I see often: our early life experiences shape how we relate to ourselves and others. I especially appreciated Bradshaw’s framework of developmental stages, which helps readers make sense of how “unfinished” needs resurface later in life.

That said, I found myself wishing he had gone deeper into boundaries, values, and nervous system regulation. These are areas that feel crucial to healing, and while Bradshaw touches on them, he doesn’t provide detailed exercises. That’s one reason I developed the values resource linked above because clarifying what matters most is often the foundation for building a healthier, more authentic life.

Who This Book Is For

I’d recommend this book to:

Adults who feel “stuck” in repeating patterns.
People exploring their family history or childhood dynamics.
Clients in therapy looking for supplemental tools.
Those working on codependency, people-pleasing, or boundary struggles.
Readers curious about self-discovery, creativity, or authenticity.
Survivors of relational trauma or emotional neglect.

Who it might not be the best fit for:

Readers looking for a purely research-driven psychology book (this leans more self-help than clinical).
Anyone currently in a severe trauma crisis without professional support, as the material may bring up difficult emotions.

Final Thoughts

Homecoming was one of the first books to bring “inner child” work into mainstream conversation, and it continues to resonate decades later. It helps us shift the question from “What’s wrong with me?” to “What happened to me, and how can I care for myself now?”

Why it’s worth reading:

Makes psychology approachable and human.
Validates that the past shapes the present without shame.
Offers practical tools for healing and re-parenting.
Inspires hope that we can give ourselves now what we once needed most.

For anyone curious about how their childhood experiences influence their adult life, Homecoming remains a compassionate and empowering read.

“Reflection Question for You: If you were to check in with your inner child today, what’s one thing they might want to hear from you?”

Closing Note

As I begin weaving book reviews into this blog, my hope is that they serve as more than summaries — that they offer you tools, language, and insights you can bring into your own healing journey. Homecoming is just one example of how books can be companions along the way, helping us make sense of our past and offering gentle steps toward growth.

If something from this review resonates with you, I encourage you to sit with it, try the values exercise linked above, or even bring it into your own therapy work. Healing is rarely about quick fixes — it’s about small, compassionate steps toward understanding ourselves more fully.

Lisa Pereversoff