What Is Physical and Emotional Flexibility? Why Healing Needs Both
Why Flexibility Matters in Healing
Have you ever noticed how a tight muscle can feel like it takes over your whole body? Or how an old memory can flood your mind with stress, even when you know you’re safe now? Both are signs of tension — one physical, one emotional.
As a trauma therapist, I see every day how deeply our bodies and minds are connected. Healing isn’t just about the mind or the body. It’s about both. When we talk about flexibility in healing, we’re really talking about adaptability — the ability to soften, release, and move through challenges.
This realization became very personal for me earlier this year, and I want to share that story with you.
A Personal Story: From Mountain Biking to Mind-Body Healing
Earlier this summer, I was in a mountain biking accident that left me with a painful shoulder injury. Not only was this a new injury, but it also aggravated some older issues I had carried for years.
Like many of you know, my office is located inside Innovative Fitness in Kelowna, a personal training and wellness company that offers personalized, science-driven programs. After a full day of client sessions, James — the owner of the Kelowna location and a Clinical Exercise Physiologist — noticed I was in some pain and kindly offered to help.
One afternoon, while working on releasing a knot in my trap muscle, James explained his approach. He shared that the key is to use enough pressure in the trigger point to “stretch the nervous system” and allow the muscle to relax — but not so much pressure that the body goes into fight-or-flight and the muscle locks down even harder.
As he described this, something clicked for me. I realized that the same principle applies in trauma healing. If our nervous system is too overwhelmed, it can’t soften or release, no matter how much effort we put in. But when we create just the right amount of support and safety, real flexibility — both physical and emotional — becomes possible.
What Is Physical Flexibility?
When most people think of physical flexibility, they imagine stretching or touching their toes. But true flexibility goes deeper than that — it’s about how your muscles and nervous system respond to stress and release.
Imagine that knot in your muscle. If you apply just the right amount of pressure, the muscle slowly lets go. Push too hard, though, and your body enters fight-or-flight mode. The muscle tightens even more.
True flexibility is that balance: using enough support to create release, but not so much that your body resists.
What Is Emotional Flexibility?
Emotional flexibility works in a very similar way. It’s the ability to move through emotions without getting stuck in them.
For example:
Sitting with sadness without shutting down.
Feeling anxiety but grounding yourself back to safety.
Bending with life’s stressors instead of breaking under the weight.
But here’s the important part: just like you can’t stretch effectively when your muscles are locked, you also can’t do deep trauma therapy work if your nervous system is dysregulated. Nervous system regulation is the foundation for emotional flexibility.
Nervous System Regulation: The Bridge Between Body and Mind
Our nervous system is like the “switchboard” between our body and mind. If it’s stuck in fight-or-flight (hyperarousal) or freeze (shutdown), we can’t fully engage in healing. Both physical and emotional flexibility require a regulated nervous system.
That’s why therapies like EMDR, talk therapy, and somatic approaches are most effective when paired with strategies that calm and balance the nervous system.
Simple At-Home Tools to Support Flexibility
Here are a few gentle tools you can practice at home to begin cultivating more flexibility:
Grounding through breath: Try slowing your exhale to signal safety to your nervous system.
Progressive muscle relaxation: Tense and release small muscle groups, noticing the shift.
5 senses reset: Pause and name five things you can see, four you can feel, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste.
These practices don’t “fix everything,” but they prepare the body and mind for deeper healing work by bringing you out of fight-or-flight and back into regulation.
If you’d like to explore more ways to regulate your nervous system at home, you might enjoy my earlier post: How to Overcome Anxiety with Simple Daily Habits. In it, I go deeper into practices like the Foundations of Mental Health and Mindfulness and Meditation, which can also support both emotional and physical flexibility.
The Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP) for Long-Term Support
For clients needing a structured and science-backed way to regulate their nervous system, I often recommend the Safe and Sound Protocol (SSP). SSP is a listening-based intervention developed by Dr. Stephen Porges, grounded in Polyvagal Theory.
By using specially filtered music to stimulate the vagus nerve, SSP helps shift the nervous system out of survival mode and into states of greater safety, connection, and resilience. Over time, this supports both physical relaxation and emotional flexibility, making it easier to engage fully in trauma therapy.
Reflection for You
Pause for a moment. Take a breath.
Where in your body do you feel tension right now?
What emotion might be living there?
If you softened your breath and released a little bit, what would shift?
“Healing isn’t about being perfectly calm or perfectly flexible. It’s about practicing, noticing, and gently stretching your capacity for both movement and emotion. Each small step builds resilience and safety.”
Gentle Next Step
If this post resonates with you, know that you don’t have to navigate healing alone. As a trauma therapist, I support clients in exploring the connection between body and mind so they can build lasting flexibility and resilience.
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